Every confident claim we drag through the wringer deserves a comic. Same five characters, fresh autopsy,
a new strip most weeks. They run their tell — the Referee checks the tape. The names are invented; the
findings behind the punchlines are real and sitting on the bench.
The Manager
Slick. Confident. Wrong.
The Broker
Always mentions the yacht.
The YouTube Trader
Lambo drops Tuesday.
The Wannabe Quant
Jargon that doesn't parse.
The Referee
Us. Checks the tape.
The broker
Forget index funds. I'm in private credit and structured notes.
Speaking of which — did I mention the yacht's in Monaco?
We tested the yacht. Terrible investment. Lovely, though.
The youtube trader
I turned $500 into 50K with this ONE secret setup!!
Link in the bio. Lambo drops Tuesday. SMASH that like!
Those are 50K views, not dollars. Views don't count.
The wannabe quant
My alpha is the gamma-convexity of the latent vol manifold.
Sharpe-optimal across the eigenportfolio, obviously.
There's nothing testable in there. Yawn.
The keynote
Gotta run — flying out to keynote BigMoneyConf.
Didn't you pound the table on cannabis stocks there last year?
Wait. Stop. Where are you going? Don't leave.
The perma-bear
My model says a 40% crash is imminent.
I've called it every year since 2014.
The S&P is up 280% since 2014.
The valuation guy
CAPE is at 39. We're overdue for mean reversion.
I've trimmed to 30% equities. Very disciplined.
CAPE forecasts the decade, never the day. You've been early since 2017.
The optimizer
My stochastic alpha overlay is Sharpe-optimized.
Across a 14-factor eigenbasis, naturally.
We ran it. Sharpe 0.4. The couch did 0.6.
The structured note
Structured notes — principal protected, equity upside.
My guy in Geneva structures them personally.
We read the fine print. You protected his bonus.
The 0DTE guy
I sell 0DTE options for DAILY income, fam!
Smash subscribe for the alerts!
We modeled it. One Tuesday ate five years of income.
The income trade
Iron Condors. Consistent monthly income, very safe.
Haven't had a down month in two years.
Until the month you do. Ask your broker about his boat.
The macro tourist
My regime model fired on the yield-curve inversion.
Bayesian-updated, of course.
The curve has predicted nine of the last two recessions.
Most weeks: a new strip — and a real autopsy.
The comic is the fun part. The membership is the part that keeps you out of it. About a coffee a week.